


Preorder Bonus

by ramblingAnthropologist



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Get your sexy Shepard calendar, It's For Charity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramblingAnthropologist/pseuds/ramblingAnthropologist
Summary: Alistair Shepard wakes up one cold November night with a pain in his ass. Well, lower back. It's a reminder of what he went through. And now, to add to that, he has one hell of a headache thanks to both Bo Peep Shepard and a notification from his omni-tool. Remember: he did it for the kids.Unrelated, somewhere a lot of people started looking for a printer. Lol.





	Preorder Bonus

**Author's Note:**

> Happy N7 Day. This is stupid.
> 
> This takes place in ME2. It's part of my dual survivor double Shepard universe. As is all my fics.

Nothing like a rebuilt body still aching in the old places to remind you you're human.

“Oww...”

Now, Alistair Shepard wasn't a baby when it came to pain – he had died, after all. Shit hurt, but he could roll with it. However, the pain that woke him up in the middle of the night was something else. It wasn't so much unbearable as just annoying.

Besides, why the hell was the space above his ass hurting?

He slid out of bed, sighing as he pushed his hair from his face. Alistair peered through one eye as he checked the time display on his omni-tool. The new Normandy still ran on Terran time, and it said it was sometime after midnight. Whatever the galaxy standard was, he didn't care. Midnight was plenty late for him.

Not for his stomach, though. As his lower back stung like a hive of bees had gone after it, his stomach roared with the reminder he hadn't eaten the night before. They – he, Bo, and new addition Thane – had wound up on a late mission that had left them all sleeping on their feet when they got back to the Normandy. No doubt the drell was sleeping it off somewhere in life support. Maybe he might be up for a late night snack too.

“Keep an eye on the place for me, Saren.”

The space hamster was out and about in his extra large wheel. Maybe it was Alistair's imagination, but he swore he saw the furry little head nod in response. That left him chuckling as the door slid closed behind him. Back into the elevator he went, his destination planned for wherever there was some damn food. After all... it was a pretty bad idea to keep a biotic from the food supply, even if that biotic was 145 pounds on a good day.

He made a quick stop on the crew floor, then backed away before anyone could talk to him. It was too damn early... or late... for missions right then. He'd read the reports later, listen to Jack and Miranda argue when he could keep his eyes open. Right then, all he needed was some peaceful silence that he should have been experiencing asleep.

“Yo.”

A deep voice off to his right stopped Alistair in his tracks. The massive shadow stretched down the length of the corridor as Bo Peep Shepard fell into step next to him, her long legs taking much longer strides. He didn't run, just set into a comfortable pace behind her. They were long since used to following each other – had been for years now.

Alistair offered her a brief smile when they caught up at the elevator. “Couldn't sleep?”

“Ass hurts.”

That's all she said as they entered the elevator in relative silence. Bo was already starting in on her bag of chicken nuggets, dinosaur shaped as per her requirements. At least a few poor breaded brachiosaurs met their brutal end while they waited for the doors to open. Like he said – it was a bad idea to keep biotics from the food source. Especially when one of them was almost as large as a krogan.

Bo was the one to break their silence as they watched the doors open, then shut, on the CIC. Good thing they weren't' going there – his eyes hurt too much to look at the map just yet. “Yours hurts too, I guess.”

Alistair had been watching the numbers, not really paying attention. It took him a few seconds to realize she had spoken at all. “Oh... yeah. It was bad enough to wake me up. That or my stomach made things easy.”

Anyone else on the Normandy – hell ,maybe the Alliance – would have laughed at him for mentioning a little ache like that woke him up. Bo still snickered a little between KT era bites, but it was more good natured. Well, as good natured as she got when she was tired, hungry, and fresh off probably annoying some Cerberus agent.

“Probably the stomach.”

The elevator door opened back onto his quarters. Saren was no longer in his wheel. Instead, he sat chewing at the wooden remains of Sovereign. It had been a gift from Grunt to apologize for getting lost in the Citadel, and clearly the reaper had seen better days. The hamster had chewed through one of the wings completely, and now he sat gnawing at what remained. In a few more days, there wouldn't be much left of it.

“Next time get him a Destiny Ascension.” Bo settled onto the couch as he flopped onto his bed ass first. “They probably make those for hamsters, right?”

She tossed him a can of soda Alistair hadn't even realized she'd been hiding. He caught it, because of course he did. He'd be a pretty shitty space marine if he hadn't. But hell if he was complaining that she was holding out on him – he needed the sugar.

“Nope.” He paused as he took a sip, eyes glinting ever so slightly as he finished. “I already looked.”

Bo's brief bark of laughter filled the space. It was like the Mako going off, only far more comforting. Alistair found himself chuckling as well as he settled in to start eating as well, his reheated meal balanced on his knees. Balance he was good at, at the very least.

The two settled into a comfortable silence that came from years of being around each other in what could only be defined as 'stressful situations' to say the least. They were used to each others quirks – appreciated them, knew what to look for. If anything was off, they would have known. But no. It was just a quiet night for once.

“Maybe you should ask Krios to teach you how to shoot.”

Bo's grin was twisted as she tossed down another nugget. There was no barb behind it – she was just fucking with him. Alistair's grin turned to a brief smirk behind his can as he nodded back. Two could play at that game.

“Maybe you should ask him how to ask Tali on a date.”

The look he got was worth it, and soon Alistair was the one laughing. It had been a while since either of them had really been able to laugh. For him it was obvious – he had fucking died – but Bo played things close to the armored vest. So, maybe this was something the two of them needed at the moment to hold onto what little sanity they had left.

It was Saren's chewing that drew his attention to his desk. Right then, it was showing both the date as well as the time. In glowing blue numbers and letter, he realized the date. A brief smile spread across the commander's face as suddenly the pain in his ass - lower back -made perfect sense. Then he reached over to nudge his fellow Spectre.

“What?”

Alistair pointed, beaming. “Happy anniversary.”

November 7, 2185. The day they survived the N7 program.

Bo's face split into a half grin, half smirk. “Well, that explains why my back is killing me.”

“Mine too. Surprised I didn't figure it out sooner.” Alistair chuckled despite himself, reaching down past his shirt to rub the tender spot of flesh in his lower back. He couldn't feel it, but he knew it was there. Given she was doing the same thing, the feeling was mutual.

A chime from his omni-tool distracted the good feelings. His chuckle turned to a brief groan as he flipped his wrist over. A new message from an address he didn't recognize. It wasn't the Illusive Man, nor was it the Alliance or anyone else who had the gall to bother them on a regular basis. So... he was kind of at a loss.

“If it's the glow stick, tell him to fuck off we're busy.”

Alistair shook his head. “Nope, not him. Something about-”

The calendar was ready.

Bo looked over his shoulder, and her grin widened. “Awesome. They said it be ready about now. Shit, I think they sent the insert too. I wanna see!”

Alistair's face turned light red as he clicked into the message – yep, there was an attachment labeled as a preorder bonus. That only made his blush worse. “I can't believe you seriously got me to do this.”

It was for the kids, he kept telling himself. The Citadel's children's home needed all the help they could get, more if the days to come were anything to go by. If that meant he'd needed to take his shirt off for it, so be it.

He just... it was embarrassing, ok?

“Come on, come on, open it. I wanna see.” Bo was practically bouncing – it almost knocked him off the bed. Well, with a request like that he couldn't refuse. Still, his blush turned from red to absolute scarlet as he clicked into the image and brought it up against the wall of the Normandy. Yep... that was a preorder bonus alright.

Anyone who ordered both pink and red Shepard calendars got it.

“Awesome.”

“I hate you.”

The Shepard calendar – all profits to the group home – was her idea. As was the images. November's calendar photo for both of theirs was the same image. They combined as one for the preorder bonus currently projected on his wall. Honestly, he could barely believe it was him in it, even though he remembered taking the photo.

It was both of them, backs to the camera. Neither was wearing a shirt, just the bottom armor. Bo was glaring over her shoulder, one piercing red eye shooting a warning to whoever might be looking. He... well he looked more focused than anything else. Nobody could ever look scary next to Bo Peep Shepard. Nor, for that matter, look all that big. They had decided to keep the size difference intact for reality's sake. He was short – he admitted it – and she was massive.

At least their tattoos matched. It was a little hard to see at first, but he knew how to look. Peeking out, almost half hidden by the waistband of both their pants, was the N7 logo. That too had been her idea, back when they had survived the hell that was Rio. Matched images, forever inked there because he couldn't say no to her.

And... well... maybe it looked cool too.

“Remind me to make sure Udina gets both. Pretty sure Anderson preorded it just to take the piss out of him.” Bo was in a fine mood as she turned to the Normandy's commanding officer. “Well, what do you think?”

Alistair's reply was as flat as he could make it. “Besides kill me now?”

“Oh, come on. You know Mandible's going to get yours and drool over it.” She nudged him on the shoulder. “Besides, it's-”

For the kids. He knew. And if Garrus had his half naked image plastered over his bunk... the blush returned for a whole new reason. God, there was no way he was looking any of the crew in the eye at this point.

“Hey, Shepard? Got your email~! That preorder bonus is great. 10/10 for sure.”

Joker's sing-song voice with a mock wolf whistle rang out through the omni-tool. Bo's laughter covered up Alistair's groan as he put his head in his hands. So much for a quiet night. He was already getting messages from some of the crew, both old and new. One was even coming from Tuchanka. He didn't even want to know what one Wrex got.

Happy fucking N7 to him, he supposed. At least he got to enjoy how Tali was going to react the next time she saw Bo. A pink calendar was _definitely_ plastered over her bunk. Wait til she saw July... everyone likes a swimsuit shot, right?

 


End file.
